


"If we knew what we were doing..." (The Twice Shy Remix)

by water_bby



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/water_bby/pseuds/water_bby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi thought he knew about relationships. And then Iruka bit him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"If we knew what we were doing..." (The Twice Shy Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Once Bitten](https://archiveofourown.org/works/121403) by [ericales (anenko)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anenko/pseuds/ericales). 



> a remix of "Once Bitten" by ericales; written for the Summer 2011 [kakairu fest](http://kakairu-fest.livejournal.com/)

_"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"  
\--attributed to Albert Einstein_

* * *

Kakashi had not survived his years as an active shinobi without learning a few things about how long-term relationships did, or didn't, work. He could vaguely remember his parents, but he had really learned those lessons from Sensei and Kushina. One of the first was that you simply had to accept that your partner had buttons that you did not push. So when he decided to pursue Iruka, he started by trying to figure out what those buttons were.

* * *

Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka, sealed his lips over the other man's, and then pushed his tongue against Iruka's lips. He wasn't really thinking, just feeling, and so reflex took over when he felt Iruka bite down, hard, on his tongue. He buried a fist in Iruka's gut, doubling him over and pushing him back several feet. His gaze swept over Iruka's small living room, reassessing the possible exits, judging where the next attack would come from. And then he noticed the expression on Iruka's face. All color had leeched from it, making Iruka's wide, horror-stricken eyes all the more prominent.

"I'm sorry," Iruka choked out, just before he transported away.

Kakashi blinked at the empty space for a moment. This was bad. He'd just done something to drive Iruka from his own home. Clearly, he'd failed to turn up a pretty important piece of information, although, judging from Iruka's reaction, he hadn't expected it either. Well, Kakashi decided, he'd just have to look deeper into Iruka's past. After he made sure the other man was safe.

Kakashi finally found Iruka passed out in Anko's living room. Iruka had obviously had more than one drink and the distress of the night was still evident on his face. When he felt Anko's chakra moving closer, Kakashi pushed away from the window sill and dropped back to the street, not wanting to explain that he was just checking on Iruka.

Anko, however, knew him well enough to guess his response and simply hopped out another window to greet him. "How's your tongue? Iruka was rather worried about it."

"How's Iruka?"

Anko grinned wickedly, "Not as good as he's going to be, apparently."

Kakashi remembered why he hated having personal discussions with Anko--she tended to make them conform to her script. Oh, well, he wanted the information, so he'd play her game. "Why?"

"You're here; you're not breaking up with Iruka." She grinned at him again. "So, I need to say this--if he ever comes over this upset when it's your fault rather than his, don't show up on my window sills."

Kakashi sighed. "Are you sure this isn't my fault? I clearly stepped over a line."

"One that he hadn't told you about, so you get a free pass this time."

"What happened?"

Her grin faded to a sad smile. "Not my story."

He nodded sharply in acknowledgement and left--he could always come back to her if his other sources proved useless.

Iruka's continued safety ensured, his next stop was the active personnel records room in the Hokage Tower. He had to wait until the staff in the Mission Room finished their filing for the night and for Shizune to leave the Hokage's office. The lack of ANBU signaled that Tsunade had already left, probably hours before if he was remembering the poker schedule correctly. Getting in was surprisingly easy. He'd expected there to be at least half a dozen traps--breaking into the records room was a fairly common jounin initiation rite, after all. Finding Iruka's records took longer--who had developed this filing system?--but was easy enough once he realized that the records were filed by date of advancement to current rank. Now to see if the records shed any light on Iruka's reaction to their kiss.

He'd completed his first quick read and was going back to spend more time on the cryptic entries from a mission while Iruka was a genin when he felt a chakra burst that froze him in place, followed quickly by the arrival of his Hokage. This, he thought, was not turning out to be a particularly good night. First he'd made Iruka run away and now he had to deal with Tsunade in a mood.

"So, Hatake, care to explain to me _why_ you are reading," she paused briefly to glance at the file he held, "Umino Iruka's personnel file well after the Mission Room has closed for the night?"

He relaxed as the jutsu was released (probably to allow the Hokage to remove the file from his hands) and smiled briefly, bitterly: "No, Hokage-sama."

"'No' is not an acceptable answer." She turned abruptly towards the door, Iruka's file still in her hands. "Come on, we can at least have this discussion over sake."

Kakashi followed her, noticing that the ANBU guards were hanging back farther than they should if the Hokage was in potential danger. He'd have to mention it to the current leadership.

Tsunade had thrown open the door of her office, waiting impatiently while one of her guards made a quick check of it (just in case someone had managed to break in to the office as well as the records room). Once the guard had nodded the all-clear, Tsunade grabbed Kakashi by his right wrist, pulled him in to her office, slammed the door shut behind the two of them, and nearly threw him into one of the chairs.

"I know that you have some very odd ideas, Kakashi, but I did think you knew that it is not appropriate to pry into the personnel records of the people you date."

He waited a moment before responding. He and Iruka had not been trying to keep their growing relationship a secret, but he had thought they'd been discreet enough to not be on the Konoha grapevine quite yet.

"Kakashi? Why were you looking at...?" She cut herself off, looking at him more closely. Kakashi wondered what had caught her attention, especially when she turned her attention to Iruka's file, quickly flipping to the pages he'd been reading when she'd interrupted him, and then shutting the file again before rising from her chair and coming over to his.

"Get the mask out of the way, brat."

"Wha...?"

"I suppose I could just heal it without looking, but I'd rather do it right, so remove that mask. Now."

Kakashi had learned at a young age (also from Sensei, if he thought about it) that when your doctor gave you an order in that tone, you obeyed. So he pulled his mask down and let her look at his tongue. The healing chakra was light and warm, and he only realized how much his tongue had been hurting when suddenly it didn't any more.

When she had finished, Tsunade settled into the chair beside the one he sat in and gave him a long, level look. "What happened?"

"I thought Jiraya-sama was the pervert. Asking for intimate details? Tsk, tsk."

She glared at him. "Kakashi, your tongue was bitten. Given that I caught you reading Iruka's file and that you’re not reporting an assault, I take it that you think it was...not exactly an accident, but a reflex, perhaps. I can guess, but it would help to know what happened."

"I pushed, apparently. He...didn't react well."

"That doesn't answer my question, Hatake."

"Hokage-sama, with all due respect" (Tsunade snorted) "this is between me and Iruka, and I see no reason to involve any one else."

Tsunade sighed. "Just ask him about it rather than breaking into my personnel records. It's a really annoying alarm."

Kakashi cocked his head in her direction. "But..."

Tsunade grabbed for his left hand, pulling back when he flinched at the potential touch. He'd had an aversion to having his hand touched ever since a missing nin had systematically broken nearly every bone in it.

Tsunade pointed at the door. "Get out, Kakashi."

* * *

  
Kakashi arrived at Iruka's door that evening bearing take-out (it seemed a good way to say "I still want to spend time with you") and ready to ask Iruka about his bitten tongue. Iruka, however, directed Kakashi to the couch in the living room, placed the food in the kitchen, and then collapsed into a chair across the room, staring at the wall behind Kakashi.

After a long silence, Iruka finally burst out, "I can't believe I let something from years ago...!"

Kakashi slotted that into what he'd read last night--a genin team stumbling into an S-class takedown, one of them poisoned. The report would have said if it was aerosolized or a poisoned weapon, so that left a contact poison. Considering last night, it was easy enough to guess what that delivery system had been.

"So an enemy nin immobilized me, and I had to be rescued by Sensei! That's not the worst thing that’s ever happened in my life!"

At least Iruka no longer looked lost, but Kakashi didn't think this self-recrimination was much of an improvement. Iruka seemed to think that his reaction was a failure, as if other ninja didn't have their own issues. Why, Kakashi himself....

Kakashi pulled off his glove and saw Iruka look at the scars and the misshapen thumb where the medics had not been able to reset all the bones correctly. Kakashi took a deep breath and started on his own story. "When I was still in ANBU, a missing nin took me by surprise. He got a good start on breaking every bone in my hand. I still can't stand to have anyone touch my left hand." Just talking about it was making his hand hurt. "Does that make me weak, Iruka?"

"Kakashi," Iruka sounded horrified by the idea, "no."

Kakashi smiled. Good. Iruka would understand. "Then do me the favor of not acting like an idiot, Iruka."

Blood rushed to Iruka's face, and his temper rose as well. "I'm not acting like--!"

Kakashi watched Iruka stop himself from finishing that sentence, staring behind Kakashi with an expression that might set the wall on fire.

"I hurt you," Iruka said.

"I surprised you." And he still had to apologize for that.

"I thought you liked me because I was...normal."

Kakashi laughed. Of all the things he'd thought about Iruka...! "Iruka, I've never thought you were normal." He reached up to remove his mask, letting the other man see his smile, which just widened as Iruka slowly moved from the chair to the other end of the couch.

* * *

  
Kakashi decided later that he had missed the next lesson--that it was possible to work around your lover's buttons. After they finished talking that night, Kakashi discovered that he was perfectly happy to wait until Iruka was ready to kiss him on the lips again. In the meantime, Kakashi entertained himself with researching Iruka's reactions to kisses elsewhere--a project Iruka was happy to participate in, as long as he could conduct research of his own.


End file.
